Husbands and Wives: Together at the Cross
Lesson 10, 3rd Quarter August 26–September 1, 2023.
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Sabbath Afternoon - August 26
Memory Text:
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. KJV — Ephesians 5:25-27
To defeat the Enemy and maintain unity and harmony, let every believer cease finding fault with his brethren; watch his own steps and not theirs; realize that they have the same opportunity as does he to know the difference between right and wrong; bear his own and not their responsibility; esteem them better than himself; and do and say nothing he would not like them to do or say to him.
Let each realize, as did Paul, that charitableness--forbearance through love--is the most indispensable, urgent, and lofty of all attainments:
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
"And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Sunday, August 27
Counsel to Christian Wives
What does Paul mean by exhorting church members to submit to each other? How are we to understand this idea? Eph. 5:21.
Clearly, this divine injunction charges the wife to respect her husband as she would the Lord, the husband being the family's temporal saviour, as the Lord is the church's eternal Saviour. "...Christ...loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word." Eph. 5:25, 26. When she disregards this divine injunction, she insults God.
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church." Eph. 5:25.
Thus, just as binding and sacred is the husband's responsibility to his wife. He is to regard her as Christ does His church. Whenever he does less than this, he violates the law of the Lord.
Thus, while the church is duty-bound to respect and obey her Lord, the wife is to respect and obey her husband; and the husband is duty-bound to love and care for his wife as the Lord loves and care for His church. From this it follows that the house of the Lord is likened to the house of the husband. Accordingly, in the same way as the Lord controls the affairs of His house, the church, so the husband is to control the affairs of his home, the family.
And since the church's own welfare depends upon its cooperation with the will of the Lord, likewise the family's welfare depends upon its cooperation with the will of the father. Doubly clear, therefore, is the fact that just as Christ holds the headship over the church, so the father holds the headship over the home. And just as the converted church rejoices in pleasing her Head, Christ, so likewise the converted wife rejoices in pleasing her head, her husband. In this happy state, both the man and the woman realize that they are, after all, each other's second self.
"But I would have you know," declares Paul, "that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoreth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoreth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven." "Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God." 1 Cor. 11:3-5, 11, 12.
Monday, August 28
The Church as the Bride of Christ: Part 1
Compare Ephesians 5:25-27, 29 with the founding story of Ezekiel 16:1-14. What elements of that story does Paul reflect in his own sketch?
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor, yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters, have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." Prov. 31:10-30.
So while the queenly wife looks after the family's internal affairs, the kingly husband looks after the family's external affairs.
Furthermore, as the Lord Himself is the Principal of His church as a school, and His "wife" (the church, but especially the ministry--those who bring forth converts, children, in the faith), the teacher of their children (members), so the husband is the principal of his home as a school, and his wife the teacher of their children.
Tuesday, August 29
The Church as the Bride of Christ: Part 2
How does Paul use elements of the ancient wedding in appealing to Christians in Corinth? When does the presentation occur? (2 Cor. 11:1-4)
Those who do conclude themselves led to elect marriage, and who are determined to move in fear to the glory of God, will necessarily marry "only in the Lord": they will not take to themselves either unbelievers or unconverted worldly, careless, unconsecrated believers. The wise will keep constantly in mind the realization that worldly dress and deportment cannot charm a true Christian and therefore cannot possibly bring a happy, abiding, true Christian union. They will set their affections only upon one who is an earnest, zealous, industrious spiritual-minded adherent to Present Truth.
And an equally important requisite to the success of this most excellent yet most difficult of life's undertakings is that neither one enter into it prematurely, without having made the full necessary preparation. Accordingly, no God-fearing Davidian young man can morally permit himself to contemplate marriage unless he be one who, having early in life determined what trade or profession he be best fitted for, has set his goal, and has either reached it or is well on the way to reaching it, has built and furnished himself a house or has the means to do so, or at least has furnished or is able to furnish one.
Attempting to assume the complex, heavy, and trying responsibilities of conducting a home in God's order, without having fully made the all-essential preparations here mentioned, one can little expect to develop the physical, mental, and spiritual powers to which a Christian is divinely intended to attain. Neglecting this, he will make life a drudgery and a curse, and will by the woeful bargain become a mere cumberer of the ground rather than a blessing to the earth. Instead of being nobly independent of others, he will be ignobly dependent upon them; instead of being an uplifting influence to society, he will be a degrading one; instead of affording his children reasonable security of opportunity, giving them the care and training that every human being deserves, he will father a brood of unfortunates, doomed in all probability to the low destiny of misfits.
Wednesday, August 30
Love Your Wife as You do Yourself
What new arguments does Paul use to encourage husbands to practice tender love towards their wives?
“To gain a proper understanding of the marriage relation is the work of a lifetime. Those who marry enter a school from which they are never in this life to be graduated.” 7T 45.2
“In your life union your affections are to be tributary to each other's happiness. Each is to minister to the happiness of the other. This is the will of God concerning you. But while you are to blend as one, neither of you is to lose his or her individuality in the other. God is the owner of your individuality. Of Him you are to ask..How may I best fulfill the purpose of my creation?... Your love for that which is human is to be secondary to your love for God…Is the greatest outflow of your love toward Him who died for you? If it is, your love for each other will be after heaven's order.” 7T 45.5
“Neither husband nor wife is to make a plea for rulership. The Lord has laid down the principle that is to guide in this matter. The husband is to cherish his wife as Christ cherishes the church. And the wife is to respect and love her husband. Both are to cultivate the spirit of kindness, being determined never to grieve or injure the other.” 7T 47.1
“Do not try to compel each other to do as you wish. You cannot do this and retain each other's love. Manifestations of self-will destroy the peace and happiness of the home. Let not your married life be one of contention. If you do you will both be unhappy. Be kind in speech and gentle in action, giving up your own wishes. Watch well your words, for they have a powerful influence for good or for ill. Allow no sharpness to come into your voices. Bring into your united life the fragrance of Christlikeness.” 7T 47.2
“Before a man enters a union as close as the marriage relation, he should learn how to control himself and how to deal with others.” 7T 47.3
“My brother, be kind, patient, forbearing. Remember that your wife accepted you as her husband, not that you might rule over her, but that you might be her helper...” 7T 48.3
“One victory it is positively essential for you both to gain, the victory over the stubborn will. In this struggle you can conquer only by the aid of Christ. You may struggle hard and long to subdue self, but you will fail unless you receive strength from on high. By the grace of Christ you can gain the victory over self and selfishness. As you live His life, showing self-sacrifice at every step, constantly revealing a stronger sympathy for those in need of help, you will gain victory after victory. Day by day you will learn better how to conquer self and how to strengthen your weak points of character. The Lord Jesus will be your light, your strength, your crown of rejoicing, because you yield your will to His will.” 7T 49.1
“By His help you can utterly destroy the root of selfishness.” 7T 49.2
“Forbearance and unselfishness mark the words and actions of those who are born again, to live the new life in Christ.” 7T 50.1
Thursday, August 31
The “One Flesh” Model of Marriage
Study the Creation narrative of Genesis 2:15-25. What happens in the story before the statement concerning a husband and wife being “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24)?
“God Himself gave Adam a companion. He provided “an help meet for him”—a helper corresponding to him—one who was fitted to be his companion, and who could be one with him in love and sympathy. Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him. A part of man, bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, she was his second self, showing the close union and the affectionate attachment that should exist in this relation. “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it.” Ephesians 5:29. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one.” PP 46.2
“God celebrated the first marriage. Thus the institution has for its originator the Creator of the universe. “Marriage is honorable” (Hebrews 13:4); it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the two institutions that, after the Fall, Adam brought with him beyond the gates of Paradise. When the divine principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for man's social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature.” PP 46.3
Only in such a Christian home is Christ's Kingdom exemplified. And in thus reflecting the Kingdom here, all such homes will, when banded together collectively, make up the Kingdom hereafter. How important, then, that the mother and the father co-operate to the full in conducting the home altogether in Christ's way in order to insure its existence both now and forevermore!
Failure on the part of either, to carry out these principles, will wreck the home and scatter the family not only for the present but also for eternity; whereas careful practice of them will safeguard the family's prosperity and happiness in this world, and insure its eternal continuance in the world to come.
Friday, September 1
Further Thought
“Among the Jews a man was permitted to put away his wife for the most trivial offenses, and the woman was then at liberty to marry again. This practice led to great wretchedness and sin. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus declared plainly that there could be no dissolution of the marriage tie except for unfaithfulness to the marriage vow. “Every one,” He said, “that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery.” AH 340.3
“When the Pharisees afterward questioned Him concerning the lawfulness of divorce, Jesus pointed His hearers back to the marriage institution as ordained at creation. “Because of the hardness of your hearts,” He said, Moses “suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” He referred them to the blessed days of Eden when God pronounced all things “very good.” Then marriage and the Sabbath had their origin, twin institutions for the glory of God in the benefit of humanity. Then, as the Creator joined the hands of the holy pair in wedlock, saying, A man shall “leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one,” He enunciated the law of marriage for all the children of Adam to the close of time. That which the eternal Father Himself had pronounced good was the law of highest blessing and development for man.” AH 340.4